This past weekend was particularly tough for me. It started off with a flood of memories from 20 years ago from my first girlfriend Jane and her death to cancer. They were strong memories, both painful and joyful. Unfortunately I became somewhat distant to those close to me as I processed these – and while on one hand I wanted to talk to someone, I chose not too. Rightly or wrongly, its something I needed to deal with myself. In some regards, I’m surprised at how this affected me even after all this time. I’m grateful though, as there are far more happy memories to remember in the scheme of things. To this day I still miss her.
That coupled with people around me being silly, bitchy or just plain stupid really got under my skin. I fought tooth and nail mentally to bite my tongue and not lash out at people. I figured if they want to behave like that, its not something I can control; I just steer clear. I took some time, changed my social scenery and reconnected with friends like Brenda from some years ago. It helped being able to just talk casually, not about anything that was upsetting me. Hearing those voices over the wire really made a big difference.