Its how you said it

No doubt everyone is familiar with the phrase “its not what you said, its how you said it”.
Has a lot to do with thinking before opening your mouth. You might have the intent of you message clear in your head, but if not said in the right way you can end up offending someone, alienating them or worse.

So when this type of thing happens in my little social circle, a lot of them turn to me for help and understanding. Recently, one person spoke in a very exclusionary way making it quite clear that the rest of us simply were not welcome. While it wasn’t a massive issue for those of us being excluded – as we had our own activities to go on with; just the tone of how it was said left a lot of us feeling a range of emotions from upset to downright pissed off.

It really does matter how you say it. The delivery conveys as much a message as the content.


2 thoughts on “Its how you said it

  1. I’m guilty of this. I tend to speak far more directly (and without frills) than people are used to. The question becomes, what level of self-censoring is acceptable and manageable? i.e. Where do draw the line between what makes me unique and other people’s sensibilities?
    Just a thought…
    Of course, I’m speaking in a much broader sense – not close circles of friends.

  2. Hi Bianca. yeah I’d have to agree that you need to stick to being your true self. It really comes down to the situation and who is involved. If it was just myself having my feathers ruffled by a silly comment I’d not worry. Yet when a number of others express the same view then I know it wasn’t just me getting upset without cause. How do you draw the line and make that balance? I don’t know. Sometimes its just an instinctual feeling. Take care.

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