And then…silence

Our little household in the Western Suburbs of Sydney has been in a state of chaos and activity this past week, and its finally over.   Silence has returned, order is slowly appearing again.

A week ago, two Japanese exchange students arrived, guesting with us for a week.   Normally for the four of us, the house is just big enough whereby we don’t trip over each other.   With two extra people, it was a squeeze.    My daughter volunteered her room, which over a mini-makeover housed our two guests.

The language barrier not withstanding, just the nature of the respective cultural differences; it took three days to find a happy medium by which everyone knew their place. The most contentious of course was the single bathroom with everyone needing to compromise.

For our part, we treated the girls as we did our own children and didn’t have one set of rules for our kids and another for the guests. For their part, they were polite, kind and always courteous ( almost to an excess ).

We introduced them the lots of good ol’ Aussie stuff. They enjoyed meat pies, we ate at the pub where they enjoyed a large steak and endless salad bar, we cooked a roast dinner and even ordered in pizzas one night as we were to exhausted to cook.

Unfortunately for myself, I took ill with the Flu over the weekend and self-quarantined myself from everyone so as to not pass it on. I’m glad though that the main highlight, a visit to Featherdale Wildlife park was a great success. While they had brought smartphones with them to take photos, I clicked away with my Nikon Digital SLR and at the end of the day, provided both of them with a USB key each with over 300 photos of all the cute and furry animals.

Its been an hour since they left; I was able to have a shower in peace, I started to put my daughters room back in order and I’m slowly on the mend.

Overall it was an amazing experience and something that we’ll be open to in future again. Though with more notice we would have been able to plan better and organise things a little more.

Yesterday’s Shame

Yesterday was a tough day for me, acknowledging to myself that as an adult there are things I just can’t cope with or do with out help.    A situation had arisen that had been slowly eating away at me for several weeks.   I tried to ignore it, tried to accept it and just quietly move on and get on with things.

As much as I wanted too, I couldn’t.    I’d reached that state where I was visibly shaking, had shortness of breathe and crying.   My emotional cup was well and truly full, overflowing even.

Then, I just came out and said it.  I told you what was upsetting me and the moment I did, I felt shame; that it had come to this point where I was simply unable to deal with this myself.  I needed your help, I needed you back in my life like it was before.   I’m so sorry that I’m too weak on my own to do this.

We talked at length, and slowly with each passing minute the shaking stopped, the tears dried up and my breathing became calm and regular again.   I felt as if I’d purged a malevolent spirit from my core, that was corrupting and souring everything I was doing of late.

In six days, I’ll be forty two and there are things I can’t do alone.

The Umbrella

Is it raining again
Has the sun broken through
I know not which could be true
Under your shelter, always at the ready

Prepared you were
Course uncertain, briskly we strode
The shelter I had grown used, you provided
There by my side

Momentum unrelenting
I just wanted to smell the flowers
Drenched, I didn’t become
Looking up, the Sun, the Sun

Blinded over time
Forgotten completely myself
I didn’t mind the rain
Lost now, quite thoroughly

The shelter was welcome
The happy banter too
Rain or shine, the time has come
Time to step out from under the Umbrella