I see you

So my journey of lifestyle change and weight loss progresses slowly with small steps that I can maintain.   At first I did feel a degree of frustration in the lack of visible change but the over past year there have been an increasing number of indicators letting me know I’m making headway.

When I walk, I don’t see my feet at all.   My tummy sticks, out plain and simple.  Just over a week ago I noticed something and it took a bit to make the connection.   I was seeing my feet out of my peripheral vision for the first time in decades.    So while my tummy still sticks out, its less than before.    Just another little indicator that my body is changing.   So happy about it.   So I rewarded myself and bought some new underwear, the next size down and they fit comfortably.

One step at a time, small they may be, its progress and a real boost to my well-being.

Second Guessing

In my job I rarely have cause to second guess myself.  I’m confident in my abilities and my knowledge and some refer to me as an SME ( subject matter expert ).    In life away from work, especially in personal relationships that is a very different picture.

I can see now in my kids the types of things, that as a child I didn’t experience.   Friends coming over to play, going to birthday parties and the like.  I didn’t experience that stuff and as a result ( along with other things that happened ) don’t have the tools in me to deal with social situations.   It just a skill set I didn’t learn and don’t really have.

Recently a situation developed within a circle of “friends” ( using the term loosely ) where I hesitated several times on any course of action.   So many emotions were involved that it was hard to see which way to turn.   I went with my gut feeling ultimately, right up to that point and even for a few days after, I have been second guessing myself.

That is when I reached out to the few genuine friends I have and talked about it.   It really put my mind at ease knowing I did the right thing.   Your council and just being there means a lot to me, thankyou so very much.

Welcome back, Hello there.

The journey continues, weight loss and life style change for the long run, takes a while.    Every once in a while there is a milestone, subtle as it may be that I am making progress.     The first of those noticeable little indicators was this morning.   For the first time in a really long time, my jeans sat properly around my waist.  They didn’t keep sliding down, I didn’t need my suspenders.  They just sat there.   Welcome back waist.     I was so thrilled I messaged a friend while I was at the train station, then a bit later on a couple others.  Just sharing the progress, cause I was happy.

The second little event was this evening during my “workout” in the backyard in the dark.   I admit that at this stage I’m still not comfortable with people seeing me exercise.   I’m naturally shy and I think that’s probably just an aspect of that.   Anyway, I’ve recently been introducing stretches and broom twists and a few other movements to start to work in other muscles.   During my toe-touching phase, I touched my toes.   I was stunned.  I wasn’t straining or cheating.  It was a proper toe-touch.   I haven’t been able to do that in over 20 years at best guess.   Hello there toes.

There just little things in the scheme of what I’m doing, but it gives me that little boost that I’m making headway.   Twenty plus years of doing nothing isn’t going to be solved over night.

And the journey continues.