Yesterday’s Shame

Yesterday was a tough day for me, acknowledging to myself that as an adult there are things I just can’t cope with or do with out help.    A situation had arisen that had been slowly eating away at me for several weeks.   I tried to ignore it, tried to accept it and just quietly move on and get on with things.

As much as I wanted too, I couldn’t.    I’d reached that state where I was visibly shaking, had shortness of breathe and crying.   My emotional cup was well and truly full, overflowing even.

Then, I just came out and said it.  I told you what was upsetting me and the moment I did, I felt shame; that it had come to this point where I was simply unable to deal with this myself.  I needed your help, I needed you back in my life like it was before.   I’m so sorry that I’m too weak on my own to do this.

We talked at length, and slowly with each passing minute the shaking stopped, the tears dried up and my breathing became calm and regular again.   I felt as if I’d purged a malevolent spirit from my core, that was corrupting and souring everything I was doing of late.

In six days, I’ll be forty two and there are things I can’t do alone.

The Umbrella

Is it raining again
Has the sun broken through
I know not which could be true
Under your shelter, always at the ready

Prepared you were
Course uncertain, briskly we strode
The shelter I had grown used, you provided
There by my side

Momentum unrelenting
I just wanted to smell the flowers
Drenched, I didn’t become
Looking up, the Sun, the Sun

Blinded over time
Forgotten completely myself
I didn’t mind the rain
Lost now, quite thoroughly

The shelter was welcome
The happy banter too
Rain or shine, the time has come
Time to step out from under the Umbrella

Morning lake walk

This morning, while the temperature was still hovering around the Zero Celsius mark my daughter and I grabbed cameras and went down to the local lake for a walk / get out of the house / do something different type thing.

While I was teaching her camera and photography basics I snapped these pics.

Plenty more photos over at my Flickr Photostream.

Have a wonderful day.